Larry Chang: Writings: 2020 Solstice

The 23rd Northern Winter Solstice Epistle
December 2020

In a dark time, the eye begins to see.
~ Theodore Roethke ~

Are you ready for the Great Conjunction of 2020? That is when the planets Saturn and Jupiter seem to line up, as seen from Earth. The point of closest alignment happens to happen on December 21 which happens to be the Solstice. The last time this conjunction occurred was over 800 years ago and a previous occurrence was supposedly what the Three Magi took for an extra bright star which they followed to Bethlehem. They were probably early astronomers who were tracking the transits of the planets. Somehow over time they morphed into Kings from the East.

As Catherine Bateson observed, man constructs meaning as spiders make webs. Humans are the myth-making species. Out of the orbits of these two planets which have been plodding the same route from the universe began, their apparent alignment at this time will suggest many scenarios, especially in this age of conspiracy theories. Will it be seen as the return of the Christmas Star and whatever that portends? Will it announce the Second Coming? The end of the world? Or has Elon Musk secretly been manipulating planetary orbits?

Certainly 2020 has been a momentous year and this may be a fitting finale signalling the end is near, or a hopeful sign for the future, depending on your perspective. But then, guess what? The planets will be aligned again in another 29 years. Gosh darn, these heavenly bodies seem to have a mind of their own and will not conform to our little notional boxes.

Much is made of conjunctions in astrology, portending significant trends and events, Grand Conjunctions even more so. Jupiter and Saturn are heavies in astrological lore. In cosmic terms, they are not a thing, the alignments and ascribed relationships perceptible and applicable only from an Earth perspective. Human subjectivity makes out patterns and ascribes meaning to them. Some find Jesus in toast. If a tree falls in the forest and there is no one there to hear it, does it make a sound? Planets are always and already in some kind of spatial relationship to each other but it takes an Earthling to perceive a pattern and give meaning to it. There is no conjunction or alignment to a Martian or extra-solar intelligence.

The Solstice is more of a thing. Viewed from any point of the universe, the distribution of light on the Earth's surface varies annually due to the angle of the planet's axis in its orbit around the Sun whether anyone records it or not. Similarly, molecules aggregate into RNA proteins that enter organisms and use their cells to replicate, until the organisms' immune systems neutralize it, or not. Covid-19 is not something to believe in or not. It is a thing, not subject to human interpretation — that it is a hoax, that it was made in a lab for biological warfare, that Bill Gates, or villain of choice, has some nefarious intent. If a vaccine is successful in tamping down the pandemic, the combination of proteins we call Covid will morph, trying on different combinations of molecules, until it is successful in replicating itself once more. This is called mutation. This is how biological evolution proceeds. We likewise can develop herd immunity in response.

The first part of the spiritual journey should properly be called
psychological rather spiritual because it involves peeling away
the myths and illusions that have misinformed us.
~ Sam Keen ~

Last year this time, i was getting progressively weaker and more easily fatigued. My friend Arjuna eventually dragged me to the ER where, after a 5-hour wait, i was eventually seen by a doctor. Turns out i was dangerously anemic, and admitted forthwith. After many more blood tests, transfusions and a bone marrow biopsy, i was diagnosed with lymphoma. With encouragement from my naturopath who said it was the best available option, i began chemotherapy in January. By June all the blood work came back near normal, and i felt fine. The only side-effect i had was mild stomach upset from one of the medications.

Apart from 25€ registration fee for the ER, i paid out of pocket €8 for a medication the hospital pharmacy was out of. Everything else - visits, consultation, tests, biopsy, x-rays, hospital stay, medications - was covered by Social Security. In the US i had only minimal Medicaid coverage and would not have been able to afford getting a major illness. I would be probably dead had i remained there.

Am very appreciative of the level of care, professionalism and efficiency of the Portugal health system, especially all through the uncertainty of the early Covid days. Everything proceeded normally with expected outcomes. I am lucky i got off lightly and came through relatively unscathed.

Far left - After 20 units i became full-blooded Portuguese.
Left - Jacaranda at the hospital.

I feel somewhat sheepish when anyone commiserates or expresses dire concern for my condition, based on what they know of the Big C. It was not all that. No big thing. On the other hand, if you or a loved one have or have had Covid19 my sympathies to you, as i suspect it can be much worse than my experience of lymphoma. I've known only one person who tested positive asymptomatic, and one who has succumbed, Derrick Thompson aka Pepsi, who lived with me for a while at Gallery Way. He had been in New York for years, had numerous underlying conditions and had been expected to die multiple times over. Covid was the last straw. Indeed it is the Great Disruptor which has changed the course of history. There is no going back to business as usual.

Twelve years ago i wrote:
I'm going to venture a prediction that we will look back at this year as the last normal one, despite the challenges and tribulations that beset us. It may not seem so now, but we will look back at 2008 with nostalgia and longing. We've had a few intimations of what's to come but i daresay most people don't realize just how much life as we know it will change. It doesn't matter whether you're in Kingston, Karachi or Kalamazoo, globalization has seen to it that you will be affected.

Then i did not know how or when the decline would set in. I harped on it in each year's epistle. Here we are now.

I made my own preparations by leaving the US where life for me was becoming untenable, unaffordable and unsustainable. Thailand was affordable but unsustainable, too much pollution, too much garbage, traffic. After living in northern Portugal and in several apartments in Lisbon, have finally moved to a quinta (farm, estate) on the outskirts of the capital in the Vale do Tejo.

Right - View of Quinta da Carinhas from afar.
Far right - The main house. My flat is under the tile roof at right.

Here at Quinta da Carinhas i have long-term co-housing occupancy in a self-contained flat attached to the main house. My monthly contribution is less than half what i would pay for comparable accommodation in Lisbon. I can once again stay within my US$1000 a month budget that i had kept to in Chiang Mai and Guimarães. This is essential as i'm still embedded in a monetary system without an income — pitiful royalties from books don't count — and there is little chance The Planetary Index will be adopted soon. There are different models of intentional community or living in community. If you are alone, retired, or close to retirement you may want to check them out. It beats a retirement home or institution if you want to maintain your autonomy and independence. The pandemic which has come along to disrupt everything is the opportunity to rethink your life as the old assumptions no longer apply.

When you are totally alive and cannot be trapped or caged, only then do you have some independence.
Then you can be in the ordinary world all day long without it affecting you.
~ Mi-An ~

Here the air is clean, and there are two wells on the property if somehow the municipal supply is disrupted. We are still on the power grid though the possibility exists for solar generation. The land is well-fruited and we are growing vegetables. I've designated a herb circle and will surround it with aromatics, ginger, turmeric, and lots of neutraceuticals. As soon as it warms up, i will plant cerasee, sorrel and chuocho. The lavender, lemon grass, rosemary and mint are already in.

Right - View of the quinta: The Sacred Pine Grove with the town of Vila Franca de Xira in the distance.
Far right - From my study window looking across the valley.

Cobblestone walkway i laid myself around herb circle.
View of the quinta: Wild flowers.
View of the quinta: Wild flowers.

Zucchini surrounded by poppies and other wild flowers.
Figs.
Apples.

Living room.
Living room, bedroom in the attic up those stairs.
Kitchen.

Breakfast nook in the kitchen.
Patra keeps me company.
Railway station 15 mins away in Vila Franca de Xira.

I want for nothing here. It is as idyllic as i could want, living my imagined life. The days are spent writing, cooking and baking, gardening, with the occasional foray into town for shopping, the dentist, or barber. My personal triumph is being able finally to produce a decent whole-grain loaf. I don't miss the city but when i do have to go into Lisbon i can get the train in Vila Franca, or hitch a ride with Arjuna who goes in thrice a week to teach. From the station i can connect to the rest of Portugal and to Europe. I'm thinking of calling my place Niervana. I almost feel guilty when the rest of the world is falling apart, but then again i have trimmed my wicks. As an anti-social, misanthropic hermit i am little affected by the Covid restrictions, accustomed as i am to austerity and genteel poverty. I do miss hugs though.

In November i was honoured to have taken part in a panel discussion on Zoom to mark the launch of the Digital Archive of The Jamaica Gaily News, the newsletter of the Gay Freedom Movement of which i was a co-founder back in the 70s. Credit goes to Dr. Matthew Chin of the University of Virginia who tracked down and recorded all 81 issues, and to Vidyaratha Kissoon of the Caribbean International Resource Network for digitizing and uploading the material. It was a real pleasure also to interact with Glen McDaniel and Donna Smith, who were both GFM stalwarts and contributors to JGN. Former Jamaica Daily News and Gleaner journalist Jennifer Ffrench who penned a series of newspaper articles on homosexuality in Jamaica was also on board. I had not seen any of these people in 40 years. Back then i was cognizant of the importance of archiving but could never have imagined every copy of JGN universally available with just a few keystrokes. Amazing!

In addition to several Facebook groups that i admin, i maintain three pages with calendars: Wisdom for the Soul with daily wisdom quotations from my book; Jumieka Mechiz with Jamaican birthdays and events, written in Jamaican; and the most recent addition Queer Today with events and birthdays of LGBTI interest. The research, writing, editing, composing, and posting take up much of my day. I fend off decrepitude from immobility by doing 25 squats on the spot, holding on to the back of my chair.

Watch history being recounted and history being made.

Do not let yourself be disturbed by what is to come;
rather, be in that which is still around you and which enters with
an immeasurable past into the present that is yours.
~ Rainer Maria Rilke ~

All in all, i've had a good year, not bad for a 71 year-old cancer survivor with arthritis, atherosclerosis and gout. With ducks in a row i have no doubt next year will be just as good or better. May you be happy and blessed, come what may in 2021. If the traditional significance of Jupiter and Saturn hold, you may experience increased awareness and an expanded idea of yourself tempered by the discipline of sagacious wisdom. May you step into the fullness of your greater self.